RSVP8 min read
Wedding RSVP Questions: 25 to Ask (and 5 to Skip)
Twenty-five wedding RSVP questions in four groups, each with why to ask it and wording to copy, from dietary needs per person to song requests and shuttle seats, plus five to skip.
By The Veiloria AtelierPublished Updated
Contents
- What to ask on a wedding RSVP: the short answer
- The 5 essential wedding RSVP questions
- 8 practical questions: meals, children, access and transport
- Wedding RSVP dietary restrictions: how to ask
- 7 fun wedding RSVP questions and personal touches
- RSVP song request wording
- 5 questions for destination and multi-day weddings
- 5 questions to skip on your RSVP
- How to word wedding online RSVP questions
- A complete RSVP, worded
- Sources
- Frequently asked questions
Every wedding RSVP needs five questions: will you attend, how many in your party, each guest's full name, their dietary needs, and an email to reach them. Add more wedding RSVP questions only when someone will act on the answer: a meal choice, a song for the DJ, a shuttle seat.
Below: 25 questions in four groups, with wording to copy, five to skip and a complete RSVP. How replies are collected, deadlines and reminders are in our guide to digital wedding invitations with RSVP.
What to ask on a wedding RSVP: the short answer
Ask only what someone will act on: you, the caterer, the planner or the DJ. A question earns its place when its answer changes a seat, a plate or a playlist.
| Group | Questions | Ask them when |
|---|---|---|
| The essentials | 1–5 | Always |
| Practical | 6–13 | Your day has meal choices, children, two venues or shuttles |
| Personal touches | 14–20 | You want one or two; never all seven |
| Destination and multi-day | 21–25 | Guests travel, or there is more than one event |
The 5 essential wedding RSVP questions
These five belong on every RSVP, paper or online: the headcount, seating plan and caterer depend on them.
| # | Question | Why ask it | Wording to copy |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Attendance | Your headcount | Joyfully accepts / Regretfully declines |
| 2 | Party size | Seats, capped at the places you offered | We have reserved two seats in your honor. How many of you will join us? |
| 3 | Each guest's full name | Place cards, the seating plan, the door list | Please tell us the name of each guest |
| 4 | Dietary needs, per person | The caterer's list, by name | Any allergies or dietary requirements? |
| 5 | Email or phone | Updates if a time or address changes | Where can we reach you with updates? |
Naming the places ("two seats in your honor") settles plus-ones before anyone asks; more wording in plus-ones on wedding invitations.
8 practical questions: meals, children, access and transport
Practical questions turn replies into logistics; ask each one only if your day needs it.
| # | Question | Why ask it | Wording to copy |
|---|---|---|---|
| 6 | Meal choice | Only for a plated dinner with a choice of mains | Please choose a main course for each guest: beef, sea bass or wild-mushroom risotto |
| 7 | Children | High chairs, children's menus | Will any children be attending? If so, their names and ages |
| 8 | Allergy or preference | Tells the caterer how strict to be | Is this an allergy (even a trace is a risk) or a preference? |
| 9 | Accessibility | Step-free routes, seats near the front, a quiet room | Is there anything that would make the day easier for you? |
| 10 | Ceremony, reception or both | Two venues, two headcounts | Will you join us for the ceremony, the reception, or both? |
| 11 | Shuttle seat | The bus company needs numbers | Would you like a seat on the 3:30 pm shuttle from the hotel? |
| 12 | Driving | Venues with a small parking lot | Will you be driving to the venue? |
| 13 | Mailing address | Thank-you cards by post | Where should we send a little note after the wedding? (optional) |
Ask question 7 only if children are invited. If they aren't, say so in the invitation itself, with adults-only wedding invitation wording.
Wedding RSVP dietary restrictions: how to ask
Ask per person, in their own words, and separate allergies from preferences. In 2021, 6.2% of US adults had a diagnosed food allergy (CDC, NCHS Data Brief 460, 2023): about nine on a list of 150 adults.
- Put the field under each guest's name, so the answer arrives as "Henri: celiac", not "one of us".
- Give examples in the box: "Vegetarian, gluten-free, allergies…"
- Ask "requirements", not "preferences", which brings back dislikes.
- Send the caterer one list by name and table with your final numbers.
7 fun wedding RSVP questions and personal touches
Pick one or two, mark them optional, and choose answers you will use or keep.
| # | Question | Why ask it | Wording to copy |
|---|---|---|---|
| 14 | Song request | A dance floor built by your guests | A song that will get you dancing |
| 15 | A note for you | Words you will keep | A note for the couple |
| 16 | Marriage advice | A keepsake for your first anniversary | Your best marriage advice, in one line |
| 17 | Place-card name | "Elizabeth" on the list, "Libby" to everyone | What name should we write on your place card? |
| 18 | A date-night idea | A jar of first-year plans | Give us one idea for a date night in our first year |
| 19 | Dance-floor promise | A smile, and a hint for the DJ | On the dance floor you'll find me: all night / after dessert / guarding the cake |
| 20 | A prediction | Something to read aloud at the reception | Who cries first at the ceremony? |
RSVP song request wording
Ask for one song, in one optional line. Five ways, by tone:
- Formal: Kindly share a song you would like to hear at the reception.
- Warm: A song that will get you dancing.
- Playful: I promise to dance if you play…
- Short: Your must-play song?
- Bilingual-friendly: One song for the dance floor, in any language.
Pass the list to your DJ two to three weeks ahead, with your own do-not-play list.
5 questions for destination and multi-day weddings
When guests travel or the wedding spans a weekend, ask per event: each meal, boat and bus has its own headcount.
| # | Question | Why ask it | Wording to copy |
|---|---|---|---|
| 21 | Which events | Each event has its own numbers | Which of these will you join? Friday welcome drinks / Saturday wedding / Sunday brunch |
| 22 | Arrival and departure dates | Transfers, room blocks, the welcome bag count | When do you arrive, and when do you leave? |
| 23 | Where you are staying | Shuttle routes and room-block deadlines | Are you staying at the Hôtel des Vignes, or elsewhere? |
| 24 | Airport and arrival time | Grouping airport transfers | Which airport, and roughly what time do you land? |
| 25 | Activities | The vineyard tour or boat trip books by head | Would you like to join the Saturday morning vineyard tour? |
Timing, travel details and languages are in destination wedding invitations. For a mehndi, a welcome dinner or a Sunday brunch, see wedding weekend invitations.
5 questions to skip on your RSVP
Leave out any question that is personal, presumptuous, or answered elsewhere in the invitation.
- "Why can't you come?" A decline is complete on its own.
- "What are you planning to give?" Gifts have their own section in the invitation; never put them in the reply.
- "Will you bring a guest?" if you haven't offered one.
- "Will you be drinking alcohol?" Personal, sometimes religious, and bars are planned on the whole crowd.
- "Do you need directions?" The map belongs in the invitation, not the reply.
How to word wedding online RSVP questions
Write each question as you would say it across a table: short, warm and answerable in a tap.
- Start with attendance. A guest who declines should be done in two taps.
- Ask per person for names, meals and dietary needs.
- Prefer choices to blank boxes when you will sort the answers; keep free text for notes and songs.
- Mark extras "optional", and keep each question on one line.
- Show the reply-by date above the form: "Kindly reply by the fifteenth of May."
- Test it on your phone and time yourself.
A complete RSVP, worded
For our demo couple Capucine and Bastien, a Paris wedding with two seats per invitation:
- Kindly reply by May 1: Joyfully accepts / Regretfully declines
- How many of you will join us? (up to 2)
- Guest 1: full name · allergies or dietary requirements
- Guest 2: full name · allergies or dietary requirements
- A song that will get you dancing (optional)
- A note for the couple (optional)
- Where can we reach you with updates?
That is close to the default set on every Veiloria invitation: party size, each name, dietary needs per person, "Will any children be attending?", "A song that will get you dancing", "A note for the couple" and an email. You set how many people one reply may count, and the dietary, children, song and note questions can each be switched off. Guests reply inside the invitation, with no account, and can change their answer later (how it works).
In the Sucre design, a Paris pâtisserie under a misted cloche, guests reply by cutting themselves a slice of the cake. Open it as a guest would:
Everything a guest reads before the reply is on what's inside an invitation.
Sources
- CDC, National Center for Health Statistics, Diagnosed Allergic Conditions in Adults: United States, 2021, Data Brief No. 460, January 2023 (checked October 19, 2026).
Frequently asked questions
What questions should be on a wedding RSVP?
Five belong on every wedding RSVP: attendance, party size, each guest's full name, their dietary needs, and an email or phone number. Add a meal choice for a plated dinner, children if they're invited, and one optional touch such as a song request. Traveling guests need a question per event.
Should you ask about dietary restrictions on a wedding RSVP?
Yes, and ask per person rather than per household. A field under each guest's name gives your caterer a list by name. If someone lists an allergy, ask whether even a trace is a risk.
How do you ask for song requests on an RSVP?
Ask for one song, in one optional line: "A song that will get you dancing" or "I promise to dance if you play…" both work. One song keeps the answers playable, and optional keeps it from slowing anyone down.
Should you ask for guests' addresses on the RSVP?
Only if you will send something by post, such as thank-you cards, and then mark it optional. With a digital invitation and a digital thank-you, an email or phone number is enough.
How many questions should a wedding RSVP have?
Five essentials plus up to four extras is a good ceiling: around nine questions, short enough to finish on a phone in one sitting. Every question beyond that is one more reason to put the reply off.
